How to Include Loved Ones in Your Elopement (Even From Afar)
One of the biggest questions couples face when planning to elope in Wisconsin—or anywhere, really—is: “How can we include our family and friends without actually having them there?”
Whether you're eloping just the two of you at Devil’s Lake, in a cozy Airbnb near Madison, or on a mountaintop somewhere out west, the desire to keep things intimate doesn’t mean you have to leave loved ones out completely.
As a Wisconsin elopement photographer, I’ve seen so many creative, heartfelt ways to honor and include the people who mean the most to you—even if they're watching from afar. Here are some of my favorites.
1. Exchange Letters With Family Before the Elopement
Ask your closest loved ones to write you a letter or note to open on your elopement day. Whether it’s words of encouragement, marriage advice, or just love and support, this is a powerful way to bring them into your day emotionally. If you’d like, have your photographer (me! 👋🏻) capture the moments you open up and read these letters!
2. Incorporate Family Heirlooms or Sentimental Details
Even if they’re not physically present, you can honor your loved ones by wearing or carrying something meaningful:
A veil, headpiece, jewelry, or even a piece of fabric from a loved one's gown
A charm with a photo on your bouquet
Cufflinks, a pocket watch, or even a tie clip for the groom
Incorporate heirloom china, silverware, or glassware into your table settings
A vintage cake topper or a family cake knife
If you want to honor loved ones who have passed, you can create a memorial table with photos, candles, and/or special items that belonged to them
3. Facetime or call your loved ones
If you’re eloping without guests, hopping on a quick FaceTime call with family or friends right after your ceremony can be an incredibly meaningful way to include them in the moment. Taking a few minutes to say, “We did it!” brings your people into the joy without taking away from your private experience. Or, give them a quick call before you walk down the aisle!
4. Let them help you plan your elopement
One way to make your friends and family feel included—without inviting them to the ceremony—is to involve them in the planning process. Let them help you brainstorm ideas, choose florals, write your vows, or pick out your outfits. You can even ask them for song suggestions for your first dance or celebration playlist.
That said, this only works if your people truly support your decision to elope and will respect your vision. If you know they’ll try to take control or steer things in a direction that doesn’t feel authentic to you two, it’s okay to set boundaries and keep the planning just between you.
When done with care, this approach gives your loved ones a hands-on role while still allowing you to protect the intimacy of a just-us elopement day.
5. Have a pre-elopement celebration
Just because you're eloping doesn’t mean you have to skip celebrating with your favorite people. Hosting a pre-elopement dinner, engagement party, or casual get-together is a beautiful way to include your loved ones in your journey—before the wedding day itself. It gives everyone a chance to share in your excitement, offer their support, and feel like they’re part of your love story—without being present at the ceremony. Best of all, you can be completely present in the moment on your elopement day, knowing your people had their time to celebrate with you.
Hosting a celebration before your elopement also means you don’t have to feel obligated to plan a big reception after. For many couples, the idea of eloping is rooted in wanting a simple, stress-free experience—without the pressure of throwing a big party later. By celebrating with loved ones before the day, you satisfy that natural desire to share the excitement while still keeping your actual elopement private, intentional, and just about the two of you.
6. Host a Reception at a Later date
Hosting a reception after your elopement can be a beautiful way to blend the autonomy of a true elopement day with the traditional celebration elements of a wedding—like toasts, a first dance, or simply enjoying good food and company with your people.
I always recommend doing this on a separate day from your elopement, so you can fully soak in the experience of your private vows without feeling rushed or pulled in too many directions. Your elopement should be your day, free from timelines or expectations. Then, when you’re ready, you can gather with loved ones and celebrate in a way that still feels like you.
Final Thoughts: Do What Feels Right for You
At the end of the day, your elopement is about you two—your story, your connection, your vision for what getting married should feel like. Whether you choose to read letters from family, FaceTime your parents after the ceremony, or plan a celebration six months later, there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to include your loved ones.
These ideas are here to inspire you and remind you that you can keep your day intimate while still honoring your people—without physically having them there.
So if you're wondering how to include family in your elopement without inviting them, know that it's possible to strike that beautiful balance: deeply personal, wildly intentional, and still connected to the ones who matter most.
Whatever you choose, make sure it feels aligned with who you are as a couple. That’s the real magic of eloping.
